'Tis A Tale, Told By An Idiot

...cos I sure didn't.


I finally, FINALLY got to go and see Juno. Damn you, small-town-artsy-fartsy-cinema with your high prices and whimsical scheduling! You are very lucky that you employ only cute ushers that let me in for half price or I should have to shun you and take my business to evil multiplexes.


My opinion is this: Diablo Cody didn't deserve the Oscar. Her script tugs at your heartstrings and some of the quips are fun, but it's far too 'quirky' for its own good. Any less likeable actress playing Juno would have began to seriously grate within ten minutes and the 'kraken from the sea!' line would have probably sent me screaming from the cinema. That being said, it was ultimately extremely fun to watch and left me feeling considerably better than I did after watching Michael Clayton. It didn't hurt that the colours were bouncy and awesome, Allison Janney was there being so awesomely Allison Janney and I actually want to buy the soundtrack. This film and Kimya Dawson were made for each other.

So, I liked it. It still doesn't knock Saved! off the top of my personal Best Films Starring Adorable and Precocious Actress As Gutsy Teen Knocked Up On The First Try, but it makes a valiant attempt. (Having written that, I really want to start compiling that list properly).

~*~

There was a lecture for prospective entrants to Oxbridge at college today, which was largely composed of our psychotic Oxbridge advisor - the fact that we have an Oxbridge advisor tells you everything you need to know about my college - yelling horror stories of straight A* applicants that were rejected and had to go to Kings. These diatribes were normally followed by muffled shrieks of terror from around the room and people crumpling to the floor. The lesson is this: never put nervous high achieving artistic types in a room with neurotic high achieving scientific types. The artists cry and the scientists hit each other. The college Poetry Society held an unofficial memorial service for their potential. A requiem was read. I've never been more certain that I want to go to Edinburgh.


Today's task for you is this: tell me your horror stories from applying to university! Psychotic advisors? Crushed peers? Bring it on!

Time: 5 hours 25 minutes, allowing time to make a cake

Reaction?

OMFGAH *flumps*

( Or something a little more coherent? SPOILERS! )

I just managed to get hold of the last (last! I cry) episode of Gilmore Girls.

Cut for spoileriness.

( 'Who else needs to erase the vision of Taylor in labour forever?' )

Goodbye, Lorelai Gilmores. I'll miss you.

My darlings,

Just checking in to say that, to all of you going through exams, GOOD LUCK! For me it's one down and what feels like millions to go.

Now would be a good time to suddenly grasp the relationships between lines, tangents and normals.

So I'm on study leave and so have, semi-officially, left school. The last day was Monday. People cried, people cheered, people sang "I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester".

I got the school award for Outstanding Contribution To Drama. That was nice, because I wasn't expecting it at all. There's a shiny trophy, but I don't get it until the Presentation Evening in the autumn when it's all engraved and spiffed up.

I haven't the brain power to write in complex sentences. My fanfic work this evening looks like it was written by a nine year old.


Once again, the goodest of luck to you all! Chuck in lots of semicolons and four syllable words and they'll never notice that you haven't a clue what's going on.

I haven't read any other opinions on the Order trailer yet, so I'm going to post my original opinion - later on I'll probably come back and add to this.


I was never particularly thrilled with Imelda Staunton as Umbridge, and I'm still a little dissatisfied - there's something too neat and normal about her, and it seems that apart from the Reese Witherspoon pink she could be any uptight middle class matriarch. That being said, the clips in the trailer looked very Umbridgesque and, knowing Staunton, I will probably come out raving about her. I did adore her separating the canoodlers(?) and straightening ties.

As for the new "darker elements" - thank Merlin. I've always thought that Order was by far the darkest book, including Half-Blood Prince, simply because it's so very relevant. Tyranny, conspiracy, lies, distrust and rebellion run through that book and they are instantly grab onto the reader and suck empathy out of them, willingly or not. Order, for me, marks the end of the "Harry Potter goes to magic school!" plot, which I think wound up quite stylishly with the very traditional quest format of Goblet. In Order, though Hogwarts is the microcosm in which the struggling, oppressed world is portrayed, the story is far more concerned with wider themes and the wizarding world as a whole. For the first time things such as the Ministry of Magic and student friendships stop being quirky or formulaic and take on a far more important and realistic position in the tales. From what I can see, the film has at least grasped the essence of that, even though it can't live up to the book.

As for 'Voldemort at the station' and the 'voices' which I presume are supposed to be in Harry's mind or dreams - yes please. Harry does so much of his growing up in this book, symbolised by it containing his first awkward romantic entanglement. He becomes far more of a leader and his personality, strength and values are tested, to their eventual benefit. Though the trailer didn't show us much of CAPSLOCK!HARRY, I'm sure he's simmering away under there.

On that note: the new hair. I'm sure you're all aware that I do not approve of the loss of floppiness, but I'm going to do an English geek turnaround on it and interpret it as a symbol of Harry's aging and toughening as well as the more serious themes taking the place of more aesthetic issues. I know that the poor guy probably just wanted a change, but such overanalysis pleases me!

For our Ronnikins, no apparent wibbling. Could this possibly mark some sort of swansong for the trademark Scaredofbadthing!Face? Probably wishful thinking, but I did love his line to Hermione.

Speaking of Hermione - eh. She is blonde. She hugs Harry. She is scholarly. Big leap.


Right, off to rootle through other evaluations!

I seem to be having a very fannish week - for one thing that I didn't say in my last post was that I finally managed to pluck a plotbunny from the ground and it resulted in this. It's an Anne of Green Gables universe fic, Nan/Jerry and just a bit fluffy.

Ok, quite a lot fluffy.

But it's writing and that's an advance on most of my year so far. Of course, I suddenly reconnect with my muse when I ought to be learning about ten pages of French for my oral exam.

And yes, I know that last sentence was dirty.

I just looked at this for five minutes before realising what made it special.

Picture


Oh dear.

So, in honour of Valentines Day, I'm copying out one of my favourite poems:

A Woman's Answer To A Man's Question
Mary T. Lathrap

[Written in reply to a man's poetic unfolding of what he conceived to be a woman's duty.]

Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the hand above—
A woman's heart, and a woman's life
And a woman's wonderful love?

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy,
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy?

You have written my lesson of duty out,
Man-like you have questioned me;
Now stand at the bar of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole;
I require your heart to be true as God's stars,
And as pure as heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef;
I require a far better thing.
A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts;
I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called home,
And a man that the maker, God,
Shall look upon as he did the first
And say, "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose will fade
From my soft, young cheek one day,
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mid the bloom of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and deep,
I may launch my all on its tide?
A loving woman finds heaven or hell
On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,
All things that a man should be;
If you give all this, I would stake my life
To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot do this — a laundress and cook
You can hire, with little to pay,
But a woman's heart and a woman's life
Are not to be won that way.

I just realised that I never posted over Christmas *slaps self on wrist*. So here is a nice Spring Update...and I had better get some newsy comments from you lot!

• Mock Exams are done and the run-up to the June GCSE's begins. My predicted grades are all A and A* except a B in Science - apparently you have to actually understand the difference between covalent and ionic bonding in addition to being able to spell it.
  
• I've got interviews for two sixth form colleges over the next fortnight, so hopefully I won't wake up on September 1st with the sudden remembrance that I forgot to send in any applications...
  
• We had ONE MORNING of snow earlier in the week, to everybody's deep joy. Cue the normal amounts of snowball fights on the school sports field, broken collarbones and all modes of transportation breaking down in Britain's general inability to cope with weather
  
• My parents have decided that this summer will be the last family vacation I have to take with them and so we're going to California - San Francisco to see some cousins, L.A. for general touristiqueyness and Monterey for the sleep
  
• But between leaving school and that, seven friends and I are planning a trip youth hostel-ing around Cornwall for a week. Yay Cornwall!
  
• I have to go and get a prom dress fitted :/ Ew, dresses
  
• And last but not least, tonight I'm going to see The Decemberists in concert! Speaking of which, I need to get dressed...

So...newsy comments! *cracks whip* Get to it!

I've been away for a long time now without any reasonable explanation, and I'm sorry for that. However, I probably won't be around for quite a while and you all deserve an explanation and definitely an apology.

Things started catching up and I stopped spending as much time online. Homework, family, friends, fluctuating computer access - they all contributed, but as it went on I realised that I could go a day, a week, a month and more without needing to be online. You have all been absolutely amazing over the past two years, but with the sub exploding in membership it became increasingly hard to keep up with friends and it started to seem like a chore for which I was doing the bare minimum, rather than a pleasure.

So, I'm officially taking an RL break. A lot's changed in these two years - I have wonderful friends, horrible exams, straight A's that I'm desperately trying to keep hold of and the next few years of college and A Levels and university applications that have suddenly crashed in on my world. I've had so much fun with all of you these past two years but I don't think I can put the same amount into this life that I used to. And for that I am so, so sorry.

I'll come back from time to time, of course. To nitpick the films, to freak over Book Seven when it arrives, to update myself on your lives and to update you on mine. But I won't be here everyday and I won't be in the sub chats, bar an occasion or two.

I'm going to miss you all. I love you.

P.S. Dan Radcliffe on Extras had me scarred for life

I think that my first day back at school for the last year of mandatory secondary school education can be summed up by one incident.

Our sixth tutor (like a homeroom teacher) in five years talking about hormones and, later, drum and bass clubs.

My tutor group forced the first tutor to leave the school after a term, the second to go part time, the third to transfer to the Science department, the fourth to go part time (and he travelled around South America on a bike and spends his winters camping) and the fifth to leave after a year. I will be intrigued to see how this new addition turns out. Especially as he's shorter than a good two thirds of the class.

So, GCSE results came out at my school today.

I got the A I needed to take the sixth form UCAS Maths course next year

I passed Latin with a high C, better than I thought I'd get

I passed AS Level Critical Thinking with a C, three marks off a B - and if I bank the results I should be able to resit them at Christmas and see if I can get a B.

...

Not bad for a fifteen year old, hey?

I'm going to go eat a whole cake now.

Because locked_door998 can be a little bit scary and is holding me to my promise...an update!

The principal reasons why I haven't been online lately are...

1. Firefox exploded and I couldn't use Explorer or Opera for extended amounts of time without hitting things

2. The Hallmark Channel are playing repeats of Gilmore Girls and House every day - and my TiVo-stylee box gave up, meaning that I have to actually watch them at broadcasting time

3. Three hours a day are taken up walking to the swimming pool, swimming two kilometers and then walking home again. I've been doing this everyday and have managed to render my hair dry, crunchy and broken but my leg and arm muscles much improved

4. In true teenage cliche style, my body won't function without at least eleven hours sleep a night

5. My brother has to be physically ripped away from the computer, source of all MP3-ey goodness

6. DOCTOR WHO

Always a minor obsession but the gift of time has allowed it to blow into full scale fangirl level. Re-watching the "new" series (Ninth and Tenth), fanfiction, the Confidentials, interviews on YouTube, the audiobooks, the DVDs of past Doctors and a fairly entertaining evening spent with Sarah and Ali staring mindlessly at David Tennant in Casanova leave seriously little time for any sort of life.

~*~

Of course, this also means I haven't written any of my three essays or completed my Textiles design project.

I'm still alive, just busy. More news later, I promise.

Am in Dublin! Very little time left on this Internet card, but I'll summarise:

Downside of fourteen 15 year old girls travelling in Dublin - drunks and many variations on the new catchphrase, "Hullo girls, would ye like to take me home with you?"

Many streetshows. One, last night, involving one of our classmates with a chainsaw three inches away from her arm and a baseball bat being juggled over her face.

Stalkerish artsy photos make me happy

Have developed obsession with fresh vegetables

Overall having good time!

I may be signing my fandom death warrant, but I'm going to say this anyway.

I hate Pirates of the Caribbean. Both films. I hate Keira Knightley. I hate Orlando Bloom. And I hate Keith Richards impersonators.

I am perfectly acceptant of eyeliner and rum, however.

P.S. And also, ( memey )( goodness )

For Your Daily Dose of Hwuzzahstupid?

Stellar quotes include:

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.

Now we have a separate Department of Defense internet now, did you know that?

Do you know why?

Because they have to have theirs delivered immediately. They can't afford getting delayed by other people.

Quick Question: Does anybody know if Region 1 DVDs will play on computers here in the UK, if not DVD players? Just wondering before I contemplate dishing out all my money on importing the Sports Night boxset which is unlikely to ever be released here.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-2251371,00.html

OK...is this just an example of an outside view of the fandom or was I the only one who knew there was a hefty chance of Harry dying? The prophecy not a clue to anybody else?

So the second series finale of House aired on Thursday. I am most unhappy about this, for it looks like being ages before Britain gets series three and I don't know if Five is planning on reruns. They better be. I am going to miss my two hour block of medical drama on Thursday nights, though I still have Greys Anatomy. The O.C. finished as well(and I wept. Like a baby) and Lost has become so ridiculously drawn out that I'm very bored with it.

On the brighter side of TV, the Hallmark channel is rerunning the five seasons it owns rights to of Gilmore Girls, an episode every day. On watching episodes again, I understand why everybody is crazy about Jess/Rory (first time round I thought y'all were batshit insane). Fingers crossed that these reruns lead up to the sixth season being shown in the U.K. - I know I've heard terrible things about it but I do miss the girls.

Furthering my love for the Hallmark channel, they've been running all the special features made on The Waltons at the weekends. Admittedly I have four recorded on VHS from a stage in my life when Channel 4 ran it on the weekends after Little House on the Prairie (I cried when those shows got taken off the air. Still miss them, really) but I have never seen The Waltons Crisis and have always needed to. If my brother gets in the way of me seeing it, he is getting an apple pie to the head.

P.S.Why is it that I'm so set on getting into law or politics, but after about eleven PM if you ask me what I want to do for a living I just want to teach English to teenagers?

P.P.S. Proper entry tomorrow, I promise. I'll even throw in some pictures of the huge annual city festival that's going down over the weekend :D

P.P.P.S. Dude. I just remembered that The Waltons.com was probably the first fansite/fandom I ever visited and that it's still there. And that I used to be able to play the theme tune on piano. I would try again, but my family has never been receptive to me hammering out Seventies TV themes at 2:30 in the morning.

P.P.P.P.S. Due to my Sky (like cable) being mucked up and me being unable to access it for a while, it turns out I have missed two Waltons specials that I have never seen. *runs around in circles wielding apple pie* THIS DOES NOT END WELL